also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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