Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
