He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
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Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
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He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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