I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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