fuck your aforementioned shoe
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
