No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
