yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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