she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she told me i tasted like america
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
