**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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