barbara walters just said penis...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
