wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
