I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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