It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
