Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
