hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
