Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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