i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
