A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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