Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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