Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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