You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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