remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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