tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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