If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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