they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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