I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
