turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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