i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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