Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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