They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i think i just lost a toe
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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