But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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