can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
