I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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