Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
