There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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