ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
