so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
