Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He better not be in your backpack
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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