I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
