I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
