I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize