You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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