Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
