What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
