this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.