halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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