I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hope mine doesn't look like that
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
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He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.