I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i came on her dog
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
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She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles