what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
