cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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