she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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