I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
