I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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