I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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