So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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