We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
