you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
