I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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