Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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