I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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