does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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