I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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